Topic: Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a rise in the population triggering economic development in the tourist industry of the globe. It is argued that some populaces perceive that travellers in a foreign location
shall
Verb problem
should
show examples
respect their
culture
and actions locally,
whereas
others do not agree with
this
argument and believe that the dominant territory should embrace the divergence of the international
culture
. The essay shall agree that visitors should honour other countries' disparity of behaviour and
culture
and
also
discuss two points of view. It is undeniable that the reason why the general public travels to other nations is that they would like to experience the local
culture
.
In other words
, since the life experience and attitude of residents in the host
country
may be dramatically different than living in our own
country
, it is a primary attractive point for us to go
aboard
Rephrase
abroad
show examples
and appreciate it. To cite an example, Japanese
culture
has an emphasis on respect, which is the driver of why most tourists feel delighted regarding their customer service. In that case, visitors behaving their actions respectfully is a positive consequence
to immerse
Change preposition
of immersing
show examples
in the alien
country
.
On the contrary
, some people may insist that they are the chief reason to boost the
country
's tourist economy;
hence
, the local inhabitants should accept diverse concepts from travellers. To put it simply, a myriad of small islands mainly
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
on income from foreigners,
such
as Hawaii, so local citizens should accept various customers' behaviours in order to offer better appealing attention for these visitors to visit repeatedly.
However
, an economy can
also
be stimulated by other commercial factors, so I believe that the government should have their own competitive advantages to maintain the
country
's financial status without relying heavily on others. In conclusion, having the experience of living in other locations and acting on local residents' behaviours are attractive reasons why most travellers desire to
do
Verb problem
live
show examples
in a new territory.
Although
tourists may have financial incentives for the local economy, the authority should maintain their original characteristic
culture
to distinguish their
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
from other nationalities.
Due to
the aforementioned reasons, I think that being a guest in a destination should learn and appreciate a
country
's beauty and
culture
.
Submitted by claire9377 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide clearer examples and explanations to support your points.
task response
Ensure that your response directly addresses all parts of the essay prompt, including discussing both views and providing your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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