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Band 4

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

#countries #graduates #employment #factors #situation
Nowadays, it is undeniable that the
number
 of unemployed people
increase
Wrong verb form
is increasing
show examples
 rapidly even if they are fully qualified.
This
 is because of the pandemic covid 19 and the high
number
 of universities which were graduating
students
 more and more every year.
This
 essay will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 causes and how to tackle
this
 issue based on the writer's opinions in the
next
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
following paragraph.
To begin
 with, Covid 19 was the major problem a
couple
Add the preposition
ofcouple
show examples
 years ago that made the vast majority of people around the world
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and fresh graduated
students
 cannot be accepted to work in a company or government.
As a result
, many highly qualified
students
 become jobless. To tackle
this
 problem,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments should bring in investors and open job
recruitments
Fix the agreement mistake
recruitment
show examples
 to decrease the
number
 of unemployment.
Secondly
, the
number
 of graduate
students
 in Universities has increased multiple times if we compare it to a couple
decades
Change preposition
of decades
show examples
 ago.
Furthermore
,
students
 at the university are only prepared to learn knowledge
that is
 connected to their major or related to their subject. The solution to
this
 issue is to change the curriculum into practical subjects so the
students
 can be well-prepared to solve the problems that societies experience.
For instance
: IT, life skills related to
farm
Wrong verb form
farming
show examples
, etc. All in all, the authorities and private sectors need to gain opportunities at work;
however
, the universities need to encourage
students
, not only to be civil servants but
also
 to be entrepreneurs. By doing
this
,
hopefully
Add a comma
,hopefully
show examples
 the problem can be solved.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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