It is better to learn the way people lived in the past through films and video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times, there

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

plenty of ways to understand history. A group of

people

Use synonyms

claim that written

documents

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are more valuable

resources

Use synonyms

to learn history, the opponents of

this

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view,

however

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, argue that films and video

documents

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are more reliable. In

this

Linking Words

paradox, I agree with the former view as written

documents

Use synonyms

letters

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, journals, and books are more reliable

to understand

Change preposition

for understanding

show examples

past life. Learning about past

people

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from a trustworthy resource like

handwritten

Correct article usage

a handwritten

show examples

document is pivotal to getting uncorrupt information,

whereas

Linking Words

films are corrupted

for getting

Change preposition

to get

show examples

noticed. The prime reason is that written

documents

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are reliable to understand their culture, tradition, sense of fashion, and language. To explicate

further

Linking Words

one

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can easily understand how

people

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used to communicate and what type of

letters

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or alphabets

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

used to write in past.

Apart from

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this

Linking Words

one

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can learn the old fashion and type of clothes were used in the past. To cite an example, Popei city, archaeologists found

this

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city in the early 19th century and found many ancient writings on clay pots and on the walls of their buildings. From

this

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discovery, archaeologists understood their tradition, culture, and fashion. The above-mentioned city was destroyed by a huge volcanic eruption in Rome.

Furthermore

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, there is another pertinent reason for choosing handwritten

documents

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because most of them are written by ancient

people

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letters

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, journals,stories, and diaries. By

this

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I mean,

from

Change preposition

that

show examples

these kinds of trustworthy

resources

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can explain the lifestyle of past

people

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such

Linking Words

as their farming methods, food

resources

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, and way of earning income. On top of

this

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one

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can understand their beliefs and

misbelieves

Correct your spelling

misbeliefs

show examples

For instance

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, Egyptian pyramids, are unique monuments with a lot of written

documents

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on the wall and dry papyrus leaves. Archaeologists have understood their culture, tradition, and beliefs from

this

Linking Words

Moreover

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one

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can understand past mistakes in written

documents

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to avoid the same mistakes at present. In conclusion, it is stated that written

documents

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are more reliable

resources

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than films or documentaries as filmed

resources

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are manipulated or corrupted for getting positive ratings. I

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

that written

documents

Use synonyms

letters

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, diaries and journals are more valuable to learn uncorrupted information about the past.

Apart from

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this

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, it is a kind of gift for future generations to understand the same.

jackjohn0590Thu Jan 19 2023

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Task Achievement

Consider strengthening your introduction by clearly stating your position regarding the agreement or disagreement with the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure to use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide readers on what the paragraph will focus on.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your examples are elaborated on more significantly to fully illustrate your points; this can enhance the clarity of your argument.

Task Achievement

The use of relevant examples, such as the discovery in Pompeii and the insights gained from Egyptian pyramids, contributes positively to your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

The overall structure of your essay with clear paragraphs for different ideas is a strong point.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

376 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

historical events
visual representation
immerse
bring to life
accuracy
bias
limited scope
perspective
incomplete
superficial
detailed
reliable
primary sources
firsthand accounts
critical analysis
interpretation
balance
comprehensive understanding
critical thinking skills

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It is better to learn the way people lived in the past through films and video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sprots to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

: Email has had a huge impact on professional and social communication, but its impact has been negative as well as positive. Do the advantages of using e-mail outweigh the disadvantages ? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

In some countries, it is common for women to participate in the workforce when their children are young. what are the advantages and disadvantages

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?