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Band 5.5

Some People believe that childhood is the best stage of happiness. While others believe that a person can enjoy more happiness in other stages of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #childhood #stage #happiness #person #stages #life
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Some argued that
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 years
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the best stage of
life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 believe that one can enjoy more in other stages of
life
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 in childhood there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 responsibilities, I believe that the other stages of
life
Use synonyms
are fill
Change the verb form
are filled
show examples
 with happiness as
people
Use synonyms
 become independent. On the one hand, many
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
 that childhood is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 period of
life
Use synonyms
 because of
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 responsibilities.
This
Linking Words
 stage
is consider
Change the verb form
is considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a golden phase of one's
life
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
 are not enough mature in childhood, the only things they need to do is just
academics
Add a missing verb
do academics
show examples
 and spend
time
Use synonyms
 with their friends and
also
Linking Words
 enjoy their hobbies. They do not need to
concern
Add a missing verb
be concern
show examples
 about serious problems and financial issues as their parents fulfil all their desires.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is a carefree period with no social pressure just pure freedom.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some argue that
teenage
Correct article usage
the teenage
show examples
 years are the best
time
Use synonyms
 in most
people
Use synonyms
's
life
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 era, they have
happiest
Correct article usage
the happiest
show examples
 dates and enjoy college
life
Use synonyms
, explore new places with friends and
also
Linking Words
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
 being stressed.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, some
people
Use synonyms
starts
Change the verb form
start
show examples
 earning money,
settle
Wrong verb form
settling
show examples
 in their
life
Use synonyms
,
bear
Correct word choice
and bear
show examples
their
Change the pronoun
them
show examples
 all expenses which leads them to live
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 they want. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, individuals
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 lifelong
relations
Replace the word
relationships
show examples
 and share their happiness with loved ones
such
Linking Words
 as
wedding
Change preposition
at wedding
show examples
 and
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
 of a child and many more.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 a lot of stress about their academics and
also
Linking Words
 enjoy that stressful
time
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 infancy is a carefree period with no social pressure, I believe that young age is the best
time
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
 as it gives us more happiness
such
Linking Words
 as long relationships, weddings and college days.
Submitted by priyankagill824 on

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