Some People believe that childhood is the best stage of happiness. While others believe that a person can enjoy more happiness in other stages of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that the early years are the best stage of
life
.
However
, others believe that one can enjoy more in other stages of
life
. In my opinion,
although
in childhood there are fewer responsibilities, I believe that the other stages of
life
are filled with happiness as
people
become independent. On the one hand, many say that childhood is the best period of
life
because of fewer responsibilities.
This
stage is considered a golden phase of one's
life
.
In other words
, children are not enough mature in childhood, the only things they need to do
is
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
just do academics
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
spend
time
with their friends and
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
enjoy their hobbies. They do not need to be
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
about serious problems and financial issues as their parents fulfil all their desires.
Thus
, it is a carefree period with no social pressure just pure freedom.
On the other hand
, some argue that the teenage years are the best
time
in most
people
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In
this
era, they have the happiest dates and enjoy college
life
, explore new places with friends and
also
enjoy being stressed.
In addition
to that, some
people
start earning money, settling
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, and
bear them
Wrong verb form
bearing
show examples
all expenses which leads them to live the
life
they want. To elaborate , individuals make lifelong relationships and share their happiness with loved ones
such
as at
wedding
Fix the agreement mistake
weddings
show examples
and the birth of a child and many more.
Moreover
, many
people
take
Verb problem
feel
show examples
a lot of stress about their academics and
also
enjoy that stressful
time
. In conclusion,
although
infancy is a carefree period with no social pressure, I believe that young age is the best
time
of
life
as it gives us more happiness
such
as long relationships, weddings and college days.
Submitted by priyankagill824 on

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Task Achievement
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the main points could be more thoroughly supported with specific examples and details. Use transitions to connect your ideas more effectively.

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