Some People believe that childhood is the best stage of happiness. While others believe that a person can enjoy more happiness in other stages of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

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that the early years are the best stage of

life

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, others believe that one can enjoy more in other stages of

life

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. In my opinion,

although

Linking Words

in childhood there are fewer responsibilities, I believe that the other stages of

life

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are filled with happiness as

people

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become independent. On the one hand, many say that childhood is the best period of

life

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because of fewer responsibilities.

This

Linking Words

stage is considered a golden phase of one's

life

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In other words

Linking Words

, children are not enough mature in childhood, the only things they need to do

Wrong verb form

are

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just do academics

and

Correct word choice

apply

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spend

time

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with their friends and

Linking Words

also

Rephrase

apply

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enjoy their hobbies. They do not need to be

concern

Wrong verb form

concerned

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about serious problems and financial issues as their parents fulfil all their desires.

Thus

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, it is a carefree period with no social pressure just pure freedom.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some argue that the teenage years are the best

time

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in most

people

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life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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. In

this

Linking Words

era, they have the happiest dates and enjoy college

life

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, explore new places with friends and

also

Linking Words

enjoy being stressed.

In addition

Linking Words

to that, some

people

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start earning money, settling

Change preposition

into

show examples

their

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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, and

bear them

Wrong verb form

bearing

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all expenses which leads them to live the

life

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they want. To elaborate , individuals make lifelong relationships and share their happiness with loved ones

such

Linking Words

as at

wedding

Fix the agreement mistake

weddings

show examples

and the birth of a child and many more.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many

people

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take

Verb problem

feel

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a lot of stress about their academics and

also

Linking Words

enjoy that stressful

time

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. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

infancy is a carefree period with no social pressure, I believe that young age is the best

time

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

as it gives us more happiness

such

Linking Words

as long relationships, weddings and college days.

priyankagill824Thu Jan 19 2023

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Task Achievement

Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and the prompt, but ensure that you fully cover both views in equal detail. Your ideas should be more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the main points could be more thoroughly supported with specific examples and details. Use transitions to connect your ideas more effectively.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

7.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

7.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Some People believe that childhood is the best stage of happiness. While others believe that a person can enjoy more happiness in other stages of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how It will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work r travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.