Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take an interest in the arts?

•In our modern life, science and technology are developing and most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
are focusing all their attention on business, science, technology,
new
Correct word choice
and new
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devices, and
this
is causing a decrease in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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interest
in
art
which is the most important part of our culture. The main reason for
this
is
people
's
interest
in
earn
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earning
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much money, and I think more
art viewing
Add a hyphen
art-viewing
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competitions should be organized to prevent
this
. •On the one hand, there are several reasons for the declining
interest
in
art
today.
First
day
by
day
people
are more and more interested in purchasing cars and big luxurious houses and so they are opening big businesses and companies and, in
this
way they are able to earn
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
money and
secondly
people
's
interest
in technology and new devices. is increasing
day
by
day
and
people
prefer to study language or other science than
art
, and
that is
why their
interest
in
art
,
such
as painting or singing is
decreaseing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
dramatically and
consequently
causing the disappearance of
art
, which is an important part of our culture. •
Nevertheless
, as a solution to increase the number of
people
interested in
art
, the government should organize more
art
competitions in schools in many public departments among the
people
and introduce students to many beautiful artworks of
art
from a young age and parents should encourage their children
attend
Add the particle
to attend
show examples
many
art
classes.
For example
, in my country, there are
art
competitions twice a year, and
art
was taught as a compulsory subject in schools, and according to statistics, the number of
people
interested in
art
increases by 5% every year. •In conclusion, to increase the number of
people
who are interested in
art
, the government need to organize a lot of exhibitions of beautiful artworks. From my point of view that
this
will cause us to support
art
, which is the most important part of our culture.
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic growth
  • STEM subjects
  • Job security
  • Financial success
  • Pragmatic
  • Utilitarian pursuits
  • Art education
  • Inclusive
  • Engaging
  • Contemporary society
  • Social issues
  • Environmental themes
  • Digital platforms
  • Virtual museums
  • Interactive art
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