IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many food and drink prodcuts contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary Products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #prodcuts #levels #sugar #health #products #people
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In today's context of the world, having a higher level of
sugar
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content
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 in food and beverages can be identified as the main reason to have a number of health issues.
Hence
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, it can be argued that
,
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apply
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 these
products
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 should be made more expensive to discourage the community. I concur with the above statement due to the facts below.
Firstly
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, modern people in the world, are struggling to make their food on their own due to their office work and busy life.
Hence
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, they buy cheaper junk food which contains higher
carbohydrate
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 levels as a solution.
As a result
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, their
carbohydrate
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 intake will be higher, which will lead to many life-threatening diseases
such
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 as heart disease, diabetes etc.
Secondly
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, if we take any dairy
products
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 like fresh milk and cheese, the
content
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 of
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carbohydrate
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carbohydrates
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 is comparatively higher than in earlier days. The reason for
this
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 could be achieving higher sales with the enhancement of taste. Because when any product tastes good humans tend to buy more. Due to
this
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 people will consume
sugar
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 without their knowledge. To discourage the consumption of
sugar
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, the most effective way is to increase their prices. If these
products
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 are expensive, only a limited number of the community will be able to
buy
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thembuy
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. Most probably the wealthy ones.
However
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, given that most of these
community
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communities
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 are educated ,they tend to read the ingredients on the label.
Hence
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, they will
also
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 discourage making the buying decision. Apart from that, governments can introduce a mechanism or legislation to display the
sugar
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 level of each and every product.
This
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 will assist people to know the
carbohydrate
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content
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 of the item prior to their purchasing decision. In conclusion, it can be argued that the reason to have many health issues is the glucose
content
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 in consumable
products
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 and there are a number of ways where the consumption of
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carbohydrate
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carbohydrates
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 can be discouraged via the involvement of the government.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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