Parents should encourage children to spend a list time in studies and more time in physics activities do you agree ?
In
this
modern epoch, children
are becoming more and more introvert
Replace the word
introverted
then
past. Correct your spelling
the
However
, some masses proclaim that,
Remove the comma
apply
parents
should give information and encouragement to their offsprings
to spend their much Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
time
in do outdoor activities
rather then
Replace the word
than
do
academic work. I have elaborate concur side in forthcoming paragraphs
To Wrong verb form
doing
comments
with agreement side of Correct subject-verb agreement
comment
this
phenomenal
. Replace the word
phenomenon
First
and foremost, students who are below 10 years, they do not have ability
for what think is good and wrong for them. Add an article
the ability
Additionally
, in
starting age of Change preposition
at
children
, they are mostly depend
on their Replace the word
dependent
parents
. And children
follow their parents
also
. So, so children
are becoming cause potato
if their Fix the agreement mistake
potatoes
parents
do not encourage them to spend quality time
in
doing outdoor Change preposition
apply
activities
,.
And, it Change the punctuation
,
.
occur
many constitutions like, like Change the verb form
occurs
it
Change the pronoun
its
effects
on Correct your spelling
affects
children
mind and also
effect on their nature and also
children
can be introvert for whole
Correct pronoun usage
their whole
life
. Further more
, only Correct your spelling
Furthermore
do
Wrong verb form
doing
study
can be not beneficial for any children
Fix the agreement mistake
child
Add the comma(s)
, for instance,
for instance
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
who only concentrate in Change to a singular noun
child
study
for Add an article
the study
a study
while
Correct your spelling
whole
time
. So, they cannot able to learn social skills and not able to brief knowledge about the world and other people's nature and it can be take
many causes in Change the verb form
take
children
's future life like
, he or she could not able to communicate with Add a hyphen
life-like
other
and could not sufficient to make Fix the agreement mistake
others
relationship
with other
Add an article
a relationship
the relationship
Secondly
, not only study
but Wrong verb form
studying
also
good
physical body is important for living Correct article usage
a good
good
Add an article
the good
a good
life
. On
Change preposition
In
the
other word, Correct article usage
apply
by
sitting Change preposition
apply
on
Change preposition
in
a
Remove the article
apply
one
place for the long term causes many disease
like obesity and diabetes. And, by doing physical Change to a plural noun
diseases
children
can able to live life
with the out any physical issues. For example
, one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
who doing bought Change to a singular noun
child
study
and Outer activities
, he or she
cannot only overcome Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
stress related their
Change preposition
to their
study
but Fix the agreement mistake
studies
also
build their
strong Change the word
a
body
through some outdoor Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
activities
like,
swimming cycling and many other outdoor games. Remove the comma
apply
Furthermore
, Correct your spelling
childhood
chilhood
is Correct your spelling
childhood
one
time
when children
have a
Change the article
apply
time
to do everything and if their parents
put pressure on there
offspring for doing only Replace the word
their
study
, the children
cannot live there Sheel hood as well as other children
who spend time
in physical activities
with study
oj
conclusion, I fully support the view that Correct your spelling
OJ
children
should be encouraged by their parents
for
Change preposition
to
children's
good body strength and good Change noun form
children
life
in childhood without any tension of study
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Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.