Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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In the modern world, many young children are having diabetes and obesity at an early age, and some think that the education system is accountable for

this

problem. Many people believe that schoolchildren must learn

food

science and cooking classes.

On the other hand

, others think they should spend their crucial time apply understanding valuable lessons. In

this

essay, I will be explaining from both points of view and providing my opinion.

Firstly

, studying apply different types of meals, helps many students to keep their physical health stable. They will be more conscious about their portion sizes and various

food

intakes.

Secondly

, these studies help school children to understand the nutritional value and nutrients present in their daily edibles.

Additionally

, the pupils will learn and enhances their cooking abilities,

also

they can try many healthy alternatives for a particular recipe.

For example

, when a youngster leaves for college, they will know how to prepare a meal without

Remove the article

apply

show examples

assistance, and they will know the proper

food

portion that they need to consume to stay healthy. Other subjects are equally important, and they learn about

food

sciences from

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

areas of chemistry and biology. But, they cannot learn deeply

into

Change preposition

about

show examples

the vitamin values of different

food

. Major traditional subjects can add more educational value to a

scholars

Change noun form

scholar's

show examples

career, but that would not help their physical health.

Although

, learning other main topics can

also

support their grades in their higher education. In conclusion,

food

science and cooking can help the young generation to maintain their bodies with a proper diet and they can stay fit without any dietary problems. In my opinion, it is good that schools can introduce these lessons, as many young offspring apply these days are facing overweight and other health issues.

Submitted by sandravaidz00 on Sat Jan 21 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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