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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#schools #force #children #language
It is believed that learning a new
language
 is very necessary for students, but many
school
Change to a plural noun
schools
show examples
 don’t force their students to learn it. Personally, I completely disagree with
this
 view. The
first
 reason for
this
 is because
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a big
numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
number
show examples
 of
people
 are successful by getting a degree
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
.
For example
, if you had an English course, you would have a
change
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
 to work at
position
Add an article
the position
show examples
 you want.
Besides
,
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 a new
language
 can help you upgrade yourself a lot, you can talk with foreign
people
 to share with them about your area,…
In addition
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 benefit above, I think that why some schools don’t force pupils
study
Add the particle
to study
show examples
 a
language
? If a student
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 good qualifications of English, that student can take part in some competition and get some prizes for schools. By having some other languages,
Add an article
the pupil
a pupil
show examples
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 could
be bring
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 a lot of advantages for
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 and society
such
 as commercialization with foreign
people
, travelling
another
Change preposition
to another
show examples
 country to help
people
 in that place
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 food, water, clothes…when travelling
many
Change preposition
to many
show examples
 places, not only help others but
also
 bring themselves lots of knowledge, understand some traditions, cultures,
people
,…of an area, seeing many breathtaking sites like valleys, mountains, rivers,… In conclusion, I believe that schools should take
consideration
Change preposition
into consideration
show examples
 for students to learn
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
, because it
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 just benefit about education, but
another things
Replace the adjective
another thing
other things
show examples
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
.
Submitted by bttha.qn on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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