The first man to walk on the moon claimed it was a step forward for mankind. However, it has made little difference in most people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#first #man #moon #step #mankind #difference #people’s #lives

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The competition for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

space

Use synonyms

exploration

Use synonyms

was mainly between the Russians and the Americans, back in the

1960's

Fix apostrophe usage

1960s

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. Walking on the

moon

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by Neil Armstrong as the

first

Linking Words

person was considered a huge milestone in

space

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exploration

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, and it is considered one of the most significant achievements that mankind has undoubtedly ever achieved.

Although

Linking Words

it is said that walking on the

moon

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is a step forward for the human race, a question arises regarding the amount of difference made for the common man. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss the differences it made

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people

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's lives by walking on the

moon

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and marking a significant point

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show examples

space

Use synonyms

exploration

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. "

Space

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" is

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

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considered

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apply

show examples

a unique and substantial subject, that

people

Use synonyms

tried to understand since the past. In the past,

people

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saw how the

moon

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looked and

then

Linking Words

had the urge to step on it. Through technological advancement,

people

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built rockets and conquered the need to step on the

moon

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. They needed to know

how

Correct word choice

what

show examples

Use synonyms

moon

Add an article

the moon

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is like, and

then

Linking Words

they knew that there is hardly

that

Correct determiner usage

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moon

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contains

Wrong verb form

containing

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substances that living creatures will grow. But has

this

Linking Words

"walking on the

moon

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" achievement benefited

people

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back on earth?

People

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have not found anything suitable to get back from the

moon

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and grow or develop on earth so that it would help mankind to develop. But

people

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in the

space

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exploration

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industry only have the mere confidence and satisfaction that they somehow went on to the

moon

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, which normal

people

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would not find beneficial for their daily lives.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

,However

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in a holistic manner, common

people

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would think that as a human race, they have achieved something which is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental satisfaction. Stepping on the

moon

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has

also

Linking Words

encouraged the

space

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industry to find out more and go

further

Linking Words

into deep

space

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to find other livable planets, hoping to communicate with creatures that live up there and adopt their technologies for our planet. It has

also

Linking Words

encouraged the

space

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industry to develop the technology more and provide weather forecast details from satellites,

such

Linking Words

as tsunamis, tornadoes, and cyclones, to prepare the

people

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on earth. So,

this

Linking Words

encouragement done by stepping on the

moon

Use synonyms

can be considered positive in terms of the beneficial factors it provides to

people

Use synonyms

Submitted by sulaknaf on Sun Jan 22 2023

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

375 words

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The first man to walk on the moon claimed it was a step forward for mankind. However, it has made little difference in most people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some experts, believe that it is better for children to begin learning, a foreign language at primary school, rather than secondary school, do the advantages of the outweighes the disadvantages.

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more fathers are taking break from their careers so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both parents work full time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.