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Writing Samples
Band 4

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude male or females from certain professions because of their gender? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience in 250 words.

#women #men #strengths #weaknesses #right #females #professions #gender
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From the beginning of the world,
man
Use synonyms
 and
woman
Use synonyms
 equality
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 always been talked about in communities. Today we try to destroy the idea of “
men
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 are better than
women
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”. But It is hard to change some stereotypes. In history families, especially fathers, never wanted a girl child. They always thought that
men
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 will be the leaders of the future. They said that
women
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 are in the world to be a
man
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's
slave
Fix the agreement mistake
slaves
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. Today so many
people
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 think like that. A
man
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 can be stronger than a
woman
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 but It's not always like that. A
woman
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 can
also
Linking Words
 be stronger than a
man
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.
Women
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 can be smarter than
men
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. I think we can’
t
Use synonyms
 compare genders in certain professions.
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Woman
Fix the agreement mistake
Women
show examples
 or
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man
Add the comma(s)
,man
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 they are both
people
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. These days the most common problem is
genders
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gender
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 in work life. I saw that so many companies choose
men
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 over
women
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 because of their gender. “
Women
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 need to sit in the house and cook,do laundry,tidy,
look
Correct word choice
and look
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for
Change preposition
after
show examples
 the kids.
Women
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 can'
t
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 do jobs.” These are some stereotypes. We saw that in some countries female students can'
t
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 go to school because of their gender. It's the same for the males in different topics. “
Man
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 can'
t
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 do makeup or
man
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 can'
t
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 cook.” We put genders in certain professions which is wrong. We are all the same and we can have different special traits. We need to put
people
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 in certain positions by their features.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
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 I think sorting
people
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 by their gender is wrong. In daily life because of these
opinions
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,opinions
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 we lost so many special
men
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 and
women
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,
maybe
Correct word choice
and maybe
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the future. We need to look at our
specialty
Change the spelling
speciality
show examples
 because all of us are human.
Submitted by z.pfister on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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