IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult so they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extend do you agree or disgree?

#people #children #subjects #mathematics #philosophy #disgree
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Kazakhstan
Use synonyms
, nowadays, is a
country
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that is
Linking Words
 still on the path of development. All spheres including
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
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 system
try
Change the form of the verb
trying
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 to build the best and
well-considered
Correct quantifier usage
most well-considered
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 system for citizens.
Kazakhstan
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 have
such
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 benefits as
a
Correct article usage
the
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 capability to learn three languages simultaneously from 1st grade,
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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helps students by providing many grants. But, in spite of that,
Kazakhstan
Use synonyms
 has
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
big trouble with
education
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 prices and pedagogy
scheme
Fix the agreement mistake
schemes
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. There are 2 main benefits that my
country
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 in
education
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.
Initially
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,
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
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 to different countries,
Kazakhstan
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of the few countries that makes it possible to study three different languages and bring
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 to perfection. Not every
country
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 can provide an opportunity like
this
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.
Secondly
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 availability of grants,
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can help students with financial hardship to achieve their goals and study. Grants it is extremely important for colleges and universities,
existence
Add an article
the existence
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 of it allows students to have a chance to have a wide selection between a lot of educational institutions. (174)
As
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Like
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all
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in all
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 spheres in every
country
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,
education
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 in
Kazakhstan
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 its shortcomings including price troubles along with
teaching
Correct article usage
the teaching
show examples
 scheme. It
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
 fact that cheap price corresponds to low school knowledge. Parents struggle to ensure their kids
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have a high school
education
Use synonyms
,
that’s
Correct word choice
and that’s
show examples
 why they can pay large costs to achieve that. Another negative aspect is
teaching
Correct article usage
the teaching
show examples
 system. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Kazakhstan
Use synonyms
 schools faced
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue when
pedagogy’s
Unnecessary verb
pedagogy
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 had no desire to teach and no interest in kids. It is one of the most terrible cause
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
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 in many schools in my nation.
Submitted by rizamaliqyzy on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • optional
  • compulsory
  • subjects
  • difficult
  • importance
  • challenges
  • benefits
  • accessible
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