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Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #companies #job #applicants #age #development
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I think it is detrimental that in
a certain parts
Correct the article-noun agreement
certain parts
a certain part
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 of the world are now
availability
Replace the word
available
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 almost everywhere, as establishments do not refuse
occupational
Add an article
an occupational
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request
Fix the agreement mistake
requests
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which
Correct word choice
that
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 human being present for their firms because of their different stages of life. To commence,due to neurodegenerative disorders, several vocations are recognized to demand both physical and emotional
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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, which are already insufficient in senior folks. Evidence for
this
Linking Words
 appears
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 a young person with plenty of strength would be better able to lift materials to the construction site. There is
also
Linking Words
 the notion that elderly people are being mistreated. Because of their advanced
age
Use synonyms
, the employers find it challenging to offer them instructions
as a result
Linking Words
, they are less effective in the organization than their younger counterparts.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,recruitment
ought
Add the word
toought
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 be carried out in a professional manner while
also
Linking Words
 paying attention to applicable national laws.
In
Change preposition
For
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illustration
Add an article
the illustration
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, neither company is expected to hire anyone beyond the statutory retirement
age
Use synonyms
60
Change preposition
of 60
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 in Ethiopia,
therefore
Linking Words
 that country's retirement
age
Use synonyms
 is followed strictly.
This
Linking Words
 will affect
this
Linking Words
 person's health
in addition
Linking Words
 to exhausting them.
Hence
Linking Words
, later in life, they may experience injuries
as a result
Linking Words
 of having to exert more effort than usual to meet their obligations. In conclusion, I believe that preventing recruitment companies from applying
age
Use synonyms
 limits strictly is a bad development.
As a result
Linking Words
, there will be workers who are unqualified for the position. Along with that, it will entail
failure
Add an article
the failure
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 to obey international norms.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age diversity
  • combat age discrimination
  • job opportunities
  • experienced individuals
  • vast knowledge
  • suboptimal hiring decisions
  • legal compliance
  • reverse discrimination
  • operational costs
  • health insurance
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