In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

I think it is detrimental that in
a certain parts
Correct the article-noun agreement
certain parts
a certain part
show examples
of the world are now
availability
Replace the word
available
show examples
almost everywhere, as establishments do not refuse
occupational
Add an article
an occupational
show examples
request
Fix the agreement mistake
requests
show examples
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
human being present for their firms because of their different stages of life. To commence,due to neurodegenerative disorders, several vocations are recognized to demand both physical and emotional
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
, which are already insufficient in senior folks. Evidence for
this
appears
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
a young person with plenty of strength would be better able to lift materials to the construction site. There is
also
the notion that elderly people are being mistreated. Because of their advanced
age
, the employers find it challenging to offer them instructions
as a result
, they are less effective in the organization than their younger counterparts.
Furthermore
,recruitment
ought
Add the word
toought
show examples
be carried out in a professional manner while
also
paying attention to applicable national laws.
In
Change preposition
For
show examples
illustration
Add an article
the illustration
show examples
, neither company is expected to hire anyone beyond the statutory retirement
age
60
Change preposition
of 60
show examples
in Ethiopia,
therefore
that country's retirement
age
is followed strictly.
This
will affect
this
person's health
in addition
to exhausting them.
Hence
, later in life, they may experience injuries
as a result
of having to exert more effort than usual to meet their obligations. In conclusion, I believe that preventing recruitment companies from applying
age
limits strictly is a bad development.
As a result
, there will be workers who are unqualified for the position. Along with that, it will entail
failure
Add an article
the failure
show examples
to obey international norms.
Submitted by Premium Version on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: