Recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty percent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife around the world? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#figures #show #wildlife #population #world #fifty #percent #years

In the

last

50 years, there has been a significant decrease

Change preposition

show examples

the global animal population. Some

people

have spent a lot of effort to protect these endangered beings. Personally, I believe there are ways that we could implement to mitigate

this

issue

, namely global

awareness

and government interventions.

Firstly

awareness

is the key to

suppress

Wrong verb form

suppressing

show examples

this

issue

. With

rapidly

Correct article usage

the rapidly

show examples

decreasing animal population, it should be balanced by a significant increase in

awareness

among

people

globally. The more

people

know and understand about

this

issue

, the more actions can be taken to help prevent animal extinction.

For instance

, in

recent

Add an article

the recent

show examples

era

Fix the agreement mistake

eras

show examples

, social media has

the

Add a missing verb

had the

show examples

power to influence

people

efficiently

Change preposition

show examples

a massive scale.

This

should be utilized to promote the importance of animal welfare and the critical situation that animals are facing.

Although

not everyone will react, perhaps there are

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

donations and individual actions that can help

supress

Correct your spelling

suppress

this

issue

Awareness

itself is not sufficient to tackle

such

a global

issue

. A large

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of resources are necessary to perform the acts.

This

role can be delegated to the government as they have the

authoritive

Correct your spelling

authoritative

power and resources that can make

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

impact.

For example

, they can build a zoo, which not only does it provide shelter for animals, but

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

also

promotes the importance of wildlife.

Moreover

, they have the power of words. One significant speech regarding endangered wildlife can change the actions of many

people

In conclusion,

although

the reduction in

Correct article usage

the wildlilfe

show examples

wildlilfe

Correct your spelling

wildlife

population is a huge

issue

, there are still chances that we could prevent their extinction if we act immediately. These immediate acts could be done by individuals but they

also

need the full support of a more powerful entity

such

as the government to successfully deal with the

issue

Submitted by sam_danielo on Tue Jan 24 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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