he Situation/Who I gave advice to friend was failing school Future in danger: almost kicked off basketball team, risk of not getting into college Had ability: knew answers in class, but not doing homework What advice was friend should apply herself take more time on homework watch less TV, play fewer video games Did friend take advice? Yes got to stay on team got into college kept good study habits in college

#situation #advice #friend #school #future #danger #basketball #team #risk #college #ability #answers #class #homework #time #tv #video #games #study #habits

When I was in secondary school, my best friend was doing very poorly in her classes, and she definitely needed some advice. She was about to be kicked off the school for her low grades, and I was worried she might not get into college.

Although

,she wasn’t struggling from lack of ability. Actually, she was smart ,

intelligent

Correct word choice

and intelligent

show examples

and always knew the answers in class. The problem was that she hated homework and often wouldn’t do it;

instead

, she would watch TV all evening. I told her she needed to take her studies more seriously and spend more time on her homework. I suggested she could get that extra time by watching less TV.

In addition

, I invited her to study with me.

Therefore

, I can support her in what she was facing problem

as well as

she can help me

Change preposition

with

show examples

those I am not good enough.

However

,I’m happy to say she took my advice, and it really helped her.

Morever

Correct your spelling

Moreover

,She was able to keep her grades up on the school final. She

also

got into uni, and she kept her good study habits in her college classes. I feel proud that my advice helped her.”

Submitted by Alma Islam on Tue Jan 24 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

195 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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