Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but other people claim that it is the individual‘s responsibility. Do you agree or disagree?
It is
undeniable
fact that the Correct article usage
an undeniable
government
is responsible for the fitness and academic values of individuals
. Many pupils believe that the population is also
taking a
some responsibility of their own. In my, opinion the position of medical facilities and education appears to be more rational. Remove the article
apply
This
ideology has some advantages and disadvantages. Therefore
, in this
, essay we will address the positive and negative effects of this
trend and thus
will lead to a logical conclusion.
There are myriads of reasons which will further
explain this
argument but the most preponderant fact is that the population relies on the higher authorities because they spend huge wealth in the form of taxes. Another pivotal aspect is health is new wealth and education is the main reason for development. Furthermore
, If the government
is avoiding
Wrong verb form
avoids
this
notion, it would be faced
massive dilemmas for, example high rates of deaths,Wrong verb form
will face
and
, and, low rates of literacy rates. Correct word choice
apply
In addition
, the article published in the eminent newspaper Hindustan Times depicts that western
regions namely America, Europe, and, Canada Capitalize word
Western
takes
responsibility for the health sector and teaching section Correct subject-verb agreement
take
that's
why they have an adequate system and the deaths and literacy ratio have minute numbers. Correct your spelling
that is
Similarly
, in destructive countries such
as India, and, china residents are living below the poverty line and they could not afford these kinds of facilities.
However
, there are some pitfalls that negate these arguments and which can certainly overwhelm the potential influence of this
trend. Although
, the most alarming one is Correct word choice
However
Individuals
play a vital role in the government
and they should be contributing to the media sector and teaching sector owing Change preposition
of
to
they have money, and, potential. Change preposition
of
Besides
, they raised wealth from massive industries in other words
TATA group, and, Ambani group, improved these sectors. Additionally
, a survey conducted by the prestigious university Oxford in London revealed that Israel has a great medical and education structure due to
the government
and individuals
taking equal responsibility.
To sum up
, according to
the argument aforementioned above one can reach the conclusion that the perks of government
are instrumental indeed. Nevertheless
, the potential influence of individuals
in this
notion would
be not denied.Verb problem
can
Submitted by naffey07 on
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Task Response
There is a good attempt to address the question and present arguments for both sides. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer stance on whether the government should or should not pay for health care and education.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas presented are connected, but there are some issues with coherence and cohesion, such as repetitive phrases and incomplete sentences.
Task Response
Attempts to address both sides of the argument
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion