IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some businesses find that their new employees lack in basic interpersonal skills such as lack of ability to work With colleagues as a team. What are the causes and suggest possible solutions

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
G collaborative working T
Businesses
Use synonyms
 -
employees
Use synonyms
 - lack collaborative/interpersonal skills A C - social
media
Use synonyms
 C - social
media
Use synonyms
 discourages socializing + focus more on their phones during breaks - not supportive working
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
> bad relationship + no collaborative
room
Use synonyms
/places for
employees
Use synonyms
 to connect = S - business should encourage
employees
Use synonyms
 to build
relationship
Add an article
a relationship
show examples
 with each other. +
collaborative
Capitalize word
Collaborative
show examples
 exercises/occasional team building exercise - enhance
wroking
Correct your spelling
working
 environment + change how workstations are configured, add gaming
room
Use synonyms
 = C = Collaborative working is getting more popular nowadays.
However
Linking Words
, some
businesses
Use synonyms
 may find their
employees
Use synonyms
 struggling to work together.
This
Linking Words
 essay shall examine some factors that cause difficulties in co-working and suggest several solutions. Discouragement in working collaboratively may be caused by some external factors.
Firstly
Linking Words
, nowadays, social
media
Use synonyms
brings
Verb problem
has
show examples
 many negative influences
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 how people interact with each other.
For instance
Linking Words
, in offices,
employees
Use synonyms
 are more inclined to stare at their phones during breaks to find entertainment.
This
Linking Words
 distraction discourages
employees
Use synonyms
to bond
Change preposition
from bonding
show examples
 with others.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some
workplaces
Use synonyms
 may not offer a suitable environment to work collaboratively. Workstations,
for instance
Linking Words
, are arranged in a grid layout with panels, blocking
workers
Use synonyms
 from each other. These external factors do not only prevent
workers
Use synonyms
to connect
Change preposition
from connecting
show examples
 with each other
;
Change the punctuation
,
show examples
 but they
also
Linking Words
 deteriorate
workers
Use synonyms
' collaborative skills. Some potential solutions can come from the
businesses
Use synonyms
 themselves. Companies should start by encouraging their
employees
Use synonyms
 to build
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 with each other.
This
Linking Words
 can be done,
for example
Linking Words
, through occasional outings, which include
team building
Add a hyphen
team-building
show examples
 exercises.
This
Linking Words
 way, people are able to informally connect with each other.
Consequently
Linking Words
, once they get comfortable, collaborative working will happen naturally.
In addition
Linking Words
,
businesses
Use synonyms
 should
also
Linking Words
 provide
workplaces
Use synonyms
 that support co-working. As an example,
workplaces
Use synonyms
 can include informal rooms for
employees
Use synonyms
 to connect during breaks, namely, entertainment
Use synonyms
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
 and lunch
Use synonyms
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
. These interventions can train
employees
Use synonyms
 to informally connect with each other before ultimately performing better in collaborative tasks. In conclusion,
workers
Use synonyms
 are unable to work together because of several aspects,
such
Linking Words
 as distractions from social
media
Use synonyms
, and unsupportive
workplaces
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are a few solutions that can be implemented to mitigate
this
Linking Words
, namely, regular office
team building
Add a hyphen
team-building
show examples
 programs and providing
workers
Use synonyms
 with a collaborative working environment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: