IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that in order to improve educational quality, we should encourage students to make comments or even criticism on their teachers, but others think it will lead to the loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #quality #students #comments #criticism #teachers #loss #respect #discipline #classroom
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
 argue
to
Change preposition
about to
show examples
 what
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
 should
students
Use synonyms
 make
comments
Use synonyms
 to their
teacher
Use synonyms
 in order to enhance educational
quality
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, some
argues
Change the verb form
argue
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged to make
comments
Use synonyms
 sometimes even criticism
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
teacher
Use synonyms
. Addressing questions directly that the
teachers
Use synonyms
 have is an efficient way to solve the problem and improve the
quality
Use synonyms
 of education.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
students
Use synonyms
 are not satisfied with the manner
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
teacher
Use synonyms
 presents chemical experiments in front of them, they can ask the
teacher
Use synonyms
 to play some videos
instead
Linking Words
.
Also
Linking Words
, letting
students
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
express their own views to their
teachers
Use synonyms
 could assist in developing a free and fair atmosphere.
Teachers
Use synonyms
 usually take the role of judging, which will make some
students
Use synonyms
fraid
Correct your spelling
afraid
 to tell their own feelings. If
students
Use synonyms
 are allowed to present their ideas and
houghts
Correct your spelling
thoughts
 in a friendly way, there will have less
tense
Replace the word
tension
show examples
 between
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
studens
Correct your spelling
students
, eventually
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better studying
Add a hyphen
better-studying
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people believe free
comments
Use synonyms
 to
student's
Fix the agreement mistake
students'
show examples
teachers
Use synonyms
 will have a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. The rules are crucial
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many situations. Without restrictions on
comments
Use synonyms
,
students
Use synonyms
 might use hash words or even dirty words to
criticism
Replace the word
criticise
show examples
 on their
teachers
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to a detrimental effect on the relationship between
students
Use synonyms
 and
teachers
Use synonyms
, which can make educators reluctant to do their job, causing the teaching
quality
Use synonyms
 to drop.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, without
displines
Correct your spelling
disciplines
discipline
students
Use synonyms
' sense of
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsbility
Add the comma(s)
,responsbility
show examples
 will be
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
 negatively. The
responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 is helpful in developing many abilities
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 but not
limit
Wrong verb form
limited
show examples
 to the understanding of the importance of doing homework because they are free to tell to their
teacher
Use synonyms
 that they do not want to. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 can make
comments
Use synonyms
 and show their own opinion, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 the
extand
Correct your spelling
extent
 of freedom to express
should
Correct pronoun usage
themselves should
show examples
 be controlled.
Submitted by xinxiao9837 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational quality
  • encourage
  • comments
  • criticism
  • respect
  • discipline
  • feedback
  • teaching methods
  • democratic
  • interactive learning environment
  • vulnerable
  • job satisfaction
  • authority
  • constructive feedback
  • positive outcomes
  • productive dialogue
What to do next:
Look at other essays: