IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It has been widely argued that destitution in undeveloped
countries
Use synonyms
 cannot be resolved merely by financial aid from wealthy
nations
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will provide other kinds of
support
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which
Change preposition
for which
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 rich
countries
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 can help the poorer ones fix
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 fiscal problem, which leads me to agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. It is understandable
that
Correct word choice
apply
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why developed
countries
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 financially
support
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
impoverished
nations
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 in order to solve their poverty problem as financial
support
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 can help them be able to manage it themselves.
For instance
Linking Words
, they might spend on funding in promoting tourism or
internation
Correct your spelling
international
 investment, resulting in economic enhancement. Unfortunately,
certain
Add an article
the certain
show examples
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
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 cannot tackle well enough to solve poverty matters, leading me to suggest
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
countries
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
support
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 the impoverished
nations
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 in
another ways
Replace the adjective
another way
other ways
show examples
.
Numberous
Correct your spelling
Numerous
 impoverished
nations
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 are experiencing
an
Remove the article
apply
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inequality in
education
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, which is undeniably a major cause to
exacebate
Correct your spelling
exacerbate
 the existing poverty issues. To illustrate,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of proper
education
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 among
population
Add an article
the population
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 has led them to lack
adequate
Add an article
the adequate
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 and proper knowledge to get a job, some
people
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 eventually become homeless.
From
Change preposition
Which
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, providing them
Add the preposition
with an
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
equal educational
access
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 will be able to help them
having
Change the form of the verb
have
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 enough money to survive and treat their own family.
In addition
Linking Words
, affluent
countries
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 can facilitate the undeveloped
nations
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 by funding
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health
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care
Use synonyms
 enhancement so that they will be capable of having
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
affordable or free
health
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care
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. Take Thailand, my country,
for example
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; disadvantaged Thai
people
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 have been undergoing
an
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apply
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unaffordable and
unaccessible
Correct your spelling
inaccessible
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health
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care
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, which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 them to spend
a
Correct article usage
the
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 vast majority of their money to
access
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a
Remove the article
apply
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proper
health
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care
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 even if they only get sick, not a big surgery.
Lastly
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, prosperous
nations
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 can
support
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 the impoverished ones by subsidizing their main exported products
such
Linking Words
 as agricultural products etc., resulting in which their population will still have their own jobs which can decrease
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
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 rate and simultaneously, get properly paid by their
valueable
Correct your spelling
valuable
 job. I,
therefore
Linking Words
, totally agree with the statement that
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 can
support
Use synonyms
 the impoverished ones by other approaches than
soely
Correct your spelling
solely
 financial
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
. In conclusion, I agree with the statement that developed
countries
Use synonyms
 are supposed to provide other types of
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
countries
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 rather than financial
support
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. Despite financial
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
,
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
countries
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 are able to help the poorer
nations
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by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 several approaches, which are improving their
education
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 for their
people
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enbling
Correct your spelling
enabling
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
access
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 equally; enhancing
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
care
Use synonyms
 system to allow impoverished
people
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 to
access
Use synonyms
 it more and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not have to spend lots of their money on it; supporting their exported products so that they can get paid properly.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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