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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Communicating with other people in person face to face is better than communicating with them by telephone letters or email do you agree with this statement

#people #person #face #telephone #letters #email
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It is true that taking danger in both occupational life and the individual life of a resident is crucial. From my perspective,
this
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 tendency is completely beneficial. I will explain my preference in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, the protestors of the topic in question have their rational grounds.
First,
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workers who are willing to take
risks
Use synonyms
 in their professional lives will be fired. To be specific, if employees fail in taking chances, they would be complained
by
Change preposition
about by
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 their bosses and decreased salaries. Worse still, staff must be fired from their jobs if they cause serious results for their companies.
Second,
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enterprises would suffer a significant amount of severe damage. To elaborate, if the labour forces fail to face difficulties,
this
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 would cause
the
Correct article usage
a
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 loss of finance for their businesses.
Consequently
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, corporations have to be responsible for fixing
big
Correct article usage
the big
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 results that their staff created.
On the other hand
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, the above arguments are insufficient to overshadow the merits of said matter. First and foremost, it is said that with high
risks
Use synonyms
 come better opportunities. Particularly, adventurous workers would receive a salary raise and reach higher job positions sooner than employees who just develop based on work experience. Better still, risk-takers will enjoy dreaming wages, and their career will develop quickly.
In addition
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,
Use synonyms
risks
Correct article usage
the risks
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 that individuals usually experience are difficult to avoid. In fact, residents are able to face hazards in their ordinary lives
such
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 as having an accident when they cross the road.
Therefore
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, risk-taking is the thing human beings should learn to do. In conclusion, if job-seekers fail in facing
risks
Use synonyms
 in their career that would lead to
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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unemployment or financial damages
of
Change preposition
to
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 their company.
Nonetheless
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, mankind should acquaint themselves with encountering hazards as they are unstoppable things in life and they usually come with better opportunities.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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