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Band 4.5

ome people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#ome #people #workers #doctors #teachers #sports #entertainment #personalities
There is a problem that
students
 from many countries do not like to study
science
subjects
.It has huge effects on society.
This
 essay will consider the causes of
this
 issue and predict
influence
Correct pronoun usage
its influence
show examples
 on society in the future.
The modern
Correct article usage
Modern
show examples
students
 have many activities and
subjects
 in high school and
as a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 they cannot do everything that they should.They chose
brunch
Correct article usage
a brunch
show examples
 of
subjects
 and do
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 well in
opposit
Correct your spelling
opposite
show examples
 to
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
. Many
students
concentrat
Correct your spelling
concentrate
 on more useful in usually life
subjects
such
 as economics,programming and physical education. There is a tendency, that
science
subjects
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
 to be more
difficul
Correct your spelling
difficult
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 others and
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 part of
students
 avoid
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
On the other hand
, young people do not enjoy
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 at all and
science
subjects
 like
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
chemistry, physics and math are very boring for them. How can it influent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our society? Despite of that
science
subjects
 mostly do not relate
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 real life, they are very useful for training brains. When somebody
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 solving problems their brain is producing neurons. It
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
 to increasing of smart opportunity. If
students
 do not do
science
subjects
 they will not
getting
Change the verb form
get
be getting
show examples
 clever.
Other
Correct quantifier usage
Another
show examples
 possible
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
show examples
 is that
yong
Correct your spelling
young
 people are becoming
more far
Replace the words
farther
show examples
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 nature. They do not know about
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
 laws of
universe
Add an article
the universe
show examples
.And the
last
 possible effect is that
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 people are becoming engineers and scientists.
It
Change the pronoun
Its
show examples
effect
Change the verb form
effects
show examples
 to decreasing of technologies and humanity’s
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
. In conclusion,
this
 issue is very dramatic. The teachers should make
science
subjects
 more interesting for
students
. Because it can rise
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 of
average
Add an article
the average
an average
show examples
 student.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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