IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graphs illustrate the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 with electrical appliances and the number of hours of housework per week per household. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 with washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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,
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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, and vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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 increased from 1920 to 2019. The growing
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 with
Add an article
the refrigerator
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refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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 was the most dramatic, it climbed from almost 0% to 100% in sixty years. After 1980, every family had refrigerators. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 with vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 rose steadily and hit the peak point
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 100% in 2000. The growth of
Use synonyms
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
households
Use synonyms
 with washing
mashine
Correct your spelling
machine
 was
flunctuant
Correct your spelling
fluctuant
fluctuate
. It went up from 40%, in 1920 to 70%, in 1960 and dropped back to 65% in 1980. After 1980, the trend went upward. The number of hours of housework per week decreased from 1920 to 2019. It dropped significantly in the first two years and it slipped lightly from 1960 to 2019.
To
Change preposition
In
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 conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 with electrical appliances grows, the number of hours of housework per household
declined
Wrong verb form
declines
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, households with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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