IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction

#salary #job #satisfaction
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It is undeniable that
money
Use synonyms
 is very essential in
people
Use synonyms
 of life. Some
people
Use synonyms
 suggest that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big income is important for
Correct article usage
the selection
show examples
selection
Replace the word
selecting
show examples
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 suggest
otherwise
Linking Words
. After
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
thorough consideration, I believe that the most common reason is comfortable for spend of
money
Use synonyms
 nowadays and after
retire
Replace the word
retirement
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 issue will be examined in the following essay.
First
Add a comma
,First
show examples
 all of, the
job
Use synonyms
 market is very
competition
Replace the word
competitive
show examples
, important
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 will receive
Use synonyms
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
 much more than
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
.
Careers
Change preposition
In careers
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as information technology that there is
duty
Add an article
a duty
the duty
show examples
 to solve
Add an article
the problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 of
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 in each company. Selection
Change preposition
of the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
Change preposition
with that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 big
salary
Use synonyms
 is very important for existence because we can’t estimate
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 certainly whether it will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increase or decrease, when
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
 price raise, we will
can
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
save
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 easy than
Change preposition
in other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another job
other jobs
show examples
job
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
Change preposition
with that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 big income makes us unhappy, it will affect
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
 have
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
motivation
Add an article
the motivation
show examples
 of working, until want to leave from
job
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, co-workers don’t participate in working and accuse us
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 things
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 not true.
However
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 will be
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 factor for
living
Add an article
a living
show examples
 but if
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 of working is bad, we should leave from
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
 for better
mantal
Correct your spelling
mental
 health.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction will make us
progress
Add an article
the progress
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 working fast than
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 because
good
Add an article
the good
show examples
 environment can encourage diligence to work.
Administration
Correct article usage
The administration
show examples
 of
government
Use synonyms
 can affect to specify
rate
Add an article
the rate
a rate
show examples
 of
salary
Use synonyms
, by career be paid attention to, they will give helpfulness extremely.
For example
Linking Words
, Doctor can heal a lot of
people
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 saw to the benefits of
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 and offer to help
since
Change preposition
with
show examples
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
 and increase
Use synonyms
salary
Change preposition
in salary
show examples
. I
thing
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
 that
government
Use synonyms
 should pay attention
each
Change preposition
to each
show examples
 career equally because
people
Use synonyms
 will be able to choose a profession that they like rather
choose
Correct word choice
than choose
show examples
 a profession that
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not like but more
salary
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I strongly believe that it is more
advantage
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
 for choosing
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
 to be lived conveniently in
emergency
Add an article
an emergency
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
Government
Use synonyms
 should regard the importance of all careers should be equality to choose the
job
Use synonyms
 that we like, not choose from amount of
money
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by nakassorn on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: