some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In recent years, the number of
music
fans increased rapidly in the
world
.
Thus
, many
people
believe
music
can help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
of the
world
to get together from various
cultures
and
ages
. I strongly agree with
music
can be a
linke
Correct your spelling
link
to connect
people
from all
of
Change preposition
over
show examples
the
world
and all of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ages
,
such
as children and
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
or
eldery
Correct your spelling
elderly
elder
people
. On the one hand, many
people
justifiably argue that listening to
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of
music
can help individuals to know other
cultures
.
In other words
,
people
who listen to
forigen
Correct your spelling
foreign
music
can
be encourage
Change the verb form
be encouraged
show examples
to study
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their culture. A good example,
all
Add a missing verb
is all
show examples
of the family get together
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
chiristmas
Correct your spelling
Christmas
Eve and sing a song.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
,
music
can be a
linke
Correct your spelling
link
despit
Correct your spelling
despite
of the
ages
gap.
Moreover
,
music
festivals or concerts are a good place to
gathering
Wrong verb form
gather
show examples
all
people
around the
world
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
different
ages
or
cultures
.
On the other hand
, A group of individuals claim that there are many
religen
Correct your spelling
religions
religion
countries where they do not listen to
music
Add an article
the music
show examples
due to
the
religen
Correct your spelling
religion
reason.
Furthermore
, the
tast
Correct your spelling
taste
cast
test
of
musical
Fix the agreement mistake
musicals
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
various in different
ages
and
cultures
.
For instance
, children and
tenegeers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
are more likely to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
pop or rock
music
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
adults and
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
prefer country or classic
music
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
people
from
differen
Correct your spelling
different
countries have
Correct article usage
a nomerous
show examples
nomerous
Correct your spelling
numerous
tast
Correct your spelling
taste
test
of
music
such
as the
koriens
Correct your spelling
Koreans
people
like k.pop
music
. In
onclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I believe musical events is a good way to bring
people
from
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
culture or
ages
even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
do not well
underestant
Correct your spelling
understand
their language but can help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
to connect with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
.
Submitted by melika.verdi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
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