IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie chart gives information on UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart gives information on UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph tells us about the
budget
Use synonyms
 of the UAE government in 2000. In general, the most important targets were social security, health, and education. The biggest slice of the pie chart is taken up by social security including pensions, employment assistance and other benefits which made up slightly under one-third of total expenditure. Health and personal social services were the second highest
budget
Use synonyms
 cost. Hospital and medical services accounted for AED 53
billion
Use synonyms
, or about 15% of the
budget
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. Education costs UAE AED 38
billion
Use synonyms
 which comprises almost 12% of the whole
budget
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. The government spent about seven per cent of its revenue on debt, and roughly similar amounts went towards defence (AED 22
billion
Use synonyms
) and law and order (AED 23
billion
Use synonyms
). Spending on housing, transport and industry totalled AED 37
billion
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, other expenditures accounted for AED 23
billion
Use synonyms
. All in all, the bulk of UAE government spending goes on social welfare and health.
However
Linking Words
, education, defence, and law and order are
also
Linking Words
 major areas of spending.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words budget, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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