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Band 5.5

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #health #responsibility #government
In the present age, whether public
health
 is the responsibility of the government or individuals has sparked much debate. Some
people
 assert that government should concern
overall
health
 of the community,
whereas
 many others argue that the public should take care of their own
health
 problems. Personally, I’m in favour of the latter view. Convincing arguments can be made that
governments
 should solve public
health
 troubles. To start with, they should construct
health
 centres
as well as
 sports centres to encourage
people
remain
Add the particle
to remain
show examples
 healthy.
In other words
, versatile sports centres encourage
people
 to do some exercise and keep fit,
on the other hand
, a modern
health
 centre and hospital are given a better and healthier life for citizens.
Moreover
,
governments
 should run some campaigns and advertise extensively about public
health
 to inform
people
 about widespread diseases and their cures.
Lastly
,
governments
 should make strict rules about
health
 issues.
For instance
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
show examples
 have
health
 insurance should pay a high fine or obligate
people
 to have
a routine checks
Correct the article-noun agreement
a routine check
routine checks
show examples
 in the hospital
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Admittedly,
people
 should take care of themselves because nobody can understand their
health
 problems and everybody has
distinct
Correct article usage
a distinct
show examples
 lifestyle, which has a direct influence on their
health
.
For example
, smoking or eating unhealthy food which
contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
 a lot of sugar, fat and carbohydrates
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
serious
health
 problems. Even so,
governments
 can ban these destructive habits in society. In summary, I would concede that individuals should take care of themselves. Despite that,
governments
 have a main role in dealing with public
health
.
Overall
, I am convinced that the well-being of society is the government’s responsibility.
Submitted by Babak.ghassemi.9 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public health
  • Government responsibility
  • Individual responsibility
  • Vaccination programs
  • Anti-smoking campaigns
  • Subsidized medical services
  • Healthcare accessibility
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Food safety regulations
  • Pollution control
  • Occupational safety
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Self-education
  • Proactive management
  • Personalized healthcare
  • Comprehensive health system
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