The charts show the percentage of volunteers by organizations from 2008 to 2014.

#show #percentage #volunteers #organizations

the pie charts compare the proportion of

volunteers

in six different sectors, namely environment, sports, healthcare, art, education and others in the years 2008 and 2014.

overall

, it can be seen that the percentage of

volunteers

in environmental, sports, and healthcare sectors followed an upswing throughout the given period,

while

the figure for art, educational,

Correct word choice

and others

show examples

others

Correct pronoun usage

other

show examples

volunteers

experienced a significant decrease. in 2008, environmental

volunteers

accounted for over a fifth of the total number of

volunteers

in comparison with 29% in 2014. meanwhile, people who volunteered in the healthcare system increased by 1% to 8% in 2014. in 2014, the proportion of sports

volunteers

was 25%, compared to 15% of that figure

Change preposition

apply

show examples

6 years ago.

by contrast

while

educational

volunteers

dropped by 7 % to 17% throughout the 6- year period, the figure for both art and

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

volunteers

decreased by 6% to 12% and 9%, respectively

at the end

of the surveyed time.

Submitted by bobong120906 on Thu Feb 02 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words volunteers with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

155 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

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Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts show the percentage of volunteers by organizations from 2008 to 2014.

Research has show that the transpotation of products are the main source of pollution. Some people believe that the governmant should be in charge of this, while others believe that it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.

Many feel that students today should learn practical skills at school such as car maintenance and managing a bank account. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that sports play an important role in society. Others think they are nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.