The charts show the percentage of volunteers by organizations from 2008 to 2014.

#show #percentage #volunteers #organizations

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the pie charts compare the proportion of

volunteers

Use synonyms

in six different sectors, namely environment, sports, healthcare, art, education and others in the years 2008 and 2014.

overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that the percentage of

volunteers

Use synonyms

in environmental, sports, and healthcare sectors followed an upswing throughout the given period,

while

Linking Words

the figure for art, educational,

Correct word choice

and others

show examples

others

Correct pronoun usage

other

show examples

volunteers

Use synonyms

experienced a significant decrease. in 2008, environmental

volunteers

Use synonyms

accounted for over a fifth of the total number of

volunteers

Use synonyms

in comparison with 29% in 2014. meanwhile, people who volunteered in the healthcare system increased by 1% to 8% in 2014. in 2014, the proportion of sports

volunteers

Use synonyms

was 25%, compared to 15% of that figure

Change preposition

apply

show examples

6 years ago.

by contrast

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

educational

volunteers

Use synonyms

dropped by 7 % to 17% throughout the 6- year period, the figure for both art and

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

volunteers

Use synonyms

decreased by 6% to 12% and 9%, respectively

at the end

Linking Words

of the surveyed time.

Submitted by bobong120906 on Thu Feb 02 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words volunteers with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

155 words

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Nowadays, doctors can become very rich. Maybe they should not focus on profitable activities such as plastic surgery or looking after rich patients and concentrate more on patient's health, no matter how rich they are. Do you agree or disagree?
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The charts show the percentage of volunteers by organizations from 2008 to 2014.

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population create problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extant do the advantage of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?.

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this fact.

In many countries, people buy clothes and choose hair styles according to the latest fashion. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, doctors can become very rich. Maybe they should not focus on profitable activities such as plastic surgery or looking after rich patients and concentrate more on patient's health, no matter how rich they are. Do you agree or disagree?