IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #job #society #mothers #fathers #course #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whilst caring for
children
Use synonyms
 is one of the, if not the most important
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in any society, I think it is not reasonable to make sure every expectant parent should be required to take a course that would prepare them to be good
parents
Use synonyms
. My opposition to
this
Linking Words
 is that people should only do the course if they wish to, it should not be prescribed. Another reason is that many prospective
parents
Use synonyms
 may already have experience
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
looking after
children
Use synonyms
 because they have looked after siblings or their work involves looking after
children
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as kindergarten teachers. There is
also
Linking Words
 the issue that not everything can be taught in a class and most
parents
Use synonyms
 have to learn a lot when they have
children
Use synonyms
. It is part of both
theirs
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 and their
children
Use synonyms
’s development. Another factor is what kind of car
eis
Correct your spelling
is
 required for
children
Use synonyms
 because many people differ
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their views of what care entails. Some people believe in a very
hands off
Add a hyphen
hands-off
show examples
 approach allowing
children
Use synonyms
 to be more independent,
wheras
Correct your spelling
whereas
 others believe
children
Use synonyms
shoul
Correct your spelling
should
,d be directed and instructed at
eveyr
Correct your spelling
every
 stage of their lives.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the type of class may not be suitable for some prospective
parents
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by workthing5421 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: