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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the chart below shows the results of survey about people coffee and tea buying and drinking habit in five australian cities.

the chart below shows the results of survey about people coffee and tea buying and drinking habit in five australian cities.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habit #five #australian #cities
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the chart illustrates what people
prefere
Correct your spelling
prefer
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tea when they go to buy or drink it from shops or
Use synonyms
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
 in five
australin
Correct your spelling
Australian
 cities.
overall
Linking Words
, most of them went to
Use synonyms
cafe
Add an article
a cafe
the cafe
show examples
 for
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 or tea in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4
week
Fix the agreement mistake
weeks
show examples
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reaches just below 65
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
 who went to bay fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4
week
Fix the agreement mistake
weeks
show examples
 are
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 lowest
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
is slightly under 45
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 its
highst
Correct your spelling
highest
 point.
to begin
Linking Words
, in the most
hapitual
Correct your spelling
habitual
,
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 of
hobart
Change the capitalization
Hobart
show examples
,
melbourne
Change the capitalization
Melbourne
show examples
 and
sydney
Change the capitalization
Sydney
show examples
 have the
highst
Correct your spelling
highest
 selling in cafes for drinks where it ranges
aproximatly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 between 60 and 65
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of its citizen prefer cafes.
however
Linking Words
,
brisbane
Change the capitalization
Brisbane
show examples
 and
adeliaida
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
 have the lowest
hapital
Correct your spelling
capital
prefernig
Correct your spelling
preferring
 where
slight
Change the word
slightly
show examples
 above 55 to just under 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of its people prefer going to
Use synonyms
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
 .espesially, in
adelaide
Change the capitalization
Adelaide
show examples
 where there is
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 prefer to
bought
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks.
moreover
Linking Words
,people
prefer
Correct pronoun usage
who prefer
show examples
 to buy fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
second to going to
Use synonyms
cafe
Add an article
a cafe
the cafe
show examples
.
Correct your spelling
especially
espesially
Correct your spelling
especially
, in major cities ,
whereas
Linking Words
 buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 comes
last
Linking Words
 in
Correct your spelling
almost
alomst
Correct your spelling
almost
 all of them
Submitted by mohmmadloaa95 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cafe, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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