some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with, What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

Toys
, nowadays, became an integral part of childhood. As children grow and develop,
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
of playthings
such
as assisting to educate
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
,
raise
Correct word choice
and raise
show examples
kid
Add an article
the kid
show examples
as intelligent, inquisitive and clever. Despite that, improperly selected child
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
may lead to aggression,
problems
Correct word choice
and problems
show examples
with focus and can cause serious health issues. One of the major perks for
Correct article usage
a baby
show examples
baby
Fix the agreement mistake
babies
show examples
to own a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of
games
- what makes their life entertaining, it is one of the best ways to provide them
great
Change preposition
with great
show examples
, memorable childhood experiences. Great number
toys
Change preposition
of toys
show examples
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
kid lifestyle more diverse,
enjoyable
Correct word choice
and enjoyable
show examples
that results later
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their whole journey.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
priority for every parent consists on
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
their children’s earliest memories wonderful-beside that
toys
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
it possible to develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge,
learning
Correct word choice
and learning
show examples
physically and mentally. Dolls for girls become a model to be emulated,
while
cars, robots and heroes grow boys
as
Change preposition
into
show examples
masculine, courageous creatures.
However
, in
outer
Add an article
an outer
show examples
generation
Add a comma
,generation
show examples
it is a widely held view that incorrectly chosen plaything including
murder
Add an article
the murder
show examples
weapon
Fix the agreement mistake
weapons
show examples
, war potential and excessive use of it
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
children.
Games
with rigid elements become the reason why
overall
Add an article
the overall
an overall
show examples
majority of babies are rising with
Add an article
a misconception
the misconception
show examples
misconception
Fix the agreement mistake
misconceptions
show examples
of
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
. Violence against innocent people might get something normalised, which is entirely wrong. Worthless
toys
such
as large puffy
toys
,
teething
Correct word choice
and teething
show examples
rings provide serious
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
damage,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both cases:physical and emotional. In conclusion, there are plenty
advantages
Change preposition
of advantages
show examples
for
Add an article
a kid
the kid
show examples
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
getting a considerable number of
games
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
our planet it is unaccustomed for
Add an article
a family
the family
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
with babies to lack
toys
,
custody
Correct word choice
and custody
show examples
too
Change preposition
of too
show examples
much will be lost
as a result
of limiting the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of
games
.
Submitted by rizamaliqyzy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: