IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The map below is of town of Garldson, a new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below is of town of Garldson, a new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#town #garldson #supermarket #two #sites #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The maps
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the structure of Garldson
town
 and
two
 planned locations for building a supermarket. The
town
 is located between three other cities, on
northern
Correct article usage
the northern
show examples
 part is Hindon,
western
Correct article usage
the western
show examples
 part is near Brandson and on the eastern border there is Cansdon city.
Town
Correct article usage
The town
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 is surrounded by industrial areas and there is a railway passing through these parts. houses are mainly built in the north and south of the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and in the industrial zone. There are
also
two
 main roads, one connecting Crandson to Brandson and the other
directly
Replace the word
direction
show examples
goes
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 from Garldson to Hindon. There are
two
 places marked for the future supermarket.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 one, named
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
S1, is in the countryside between Hindon and Garlson.
This
 location is seemingly close to industries and far from
housings
Fix the agreement mistake
housing
show examples
. It is
also
 between the
two
 main transportation facilities, the main road and the railway.
This
 will be used mostly by people passing through these towns.
In contrast
, the other suggested site is in the middle of the
town
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 which is shown as S2 on the map. It is a more convenient place to build a market because it is closer to both living areas and industrial parts. Another positive point about
this
 location is its nearness to the railway.
Overall
, the S2 location seems to be a better spot for building a supermarket
while
 the S1 position will have less usage for the community.
Submitted by abtahig on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words town, two with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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