Some people believe that children should do organised activities in their free time while others believe that children should be free to do what they want to do in their free time. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

#people #children #activities #time

The topic of how

children

should spend their free

time

has been a subject of discussion for many years. Some people argue that

children

should participate in organized

activities

while

others believe that

children

should be free to choose what they want to do in their free

time

. In my opinion, a balance between both organized

activities

and free

time

is the best approach for

children

. Organized

activities

such

as sports teams, music lessons, or clubs, can help

children

develop new skills, learn teamwork, and stay physically active. They

also

provide

children

with a sense of structure and discipline, which can be beneficial for their

overall

development.

However

, free

time

also

essential for

children

, as it allows them to relax, unwind, and pursue their own interests.

Children

who are overscheduled with

activities

can experience stress and burnout, which can negatively impact their

overall

well-being. In conclusion, finding a balance between organized

activities

and free

time

is crucial for

children

. Both types of

activities

have their benefits, and by allowing

children

to participate in a mix of both, they can have a well-rounded experience and develop important life skills

while

also

having

time

to relax and pursue their own interests.

Submitted by Jargalmaa Ganzorig on Fri Feb 03 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

200 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children should do organised activities in their free time while others believe that children should be free to do what they want to do in their free time. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that businesses mainly benefit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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