The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category or exports in 2016 compared with 2015.

#value #country’s #exports #categories #percentage #change #category

The first bar chart depicts the amount of profit which is categorized into five groups,

whereas

the second table indicates the distinction of proportion in

values

. Both reports were surveyed between 2015 and 2016.

Overall

, all of the export contributors and percentage changes in

values

revealed upward trends,

while

only cases related to gems and jewellery had a downward tendency. In detail, both petroleum

products

were highest among other categories in 2015, which showed 60$

billion

This

trend had a major shoot up afterwards to approximately 63$

billion

. The percentage that alters in

values

also

gradually rose by 3%. Engineered goods, agricultural

products

, and textiles,

also

experienced similar patterns as petroleum

products

, which rose dramatically by around 1$-3$

billion

in the following year. The

values

also

rose moderately for each group. There was a rose dramatically

Change preposition

show examples

8,5% for goods, 0,81% for agricultural

products

, and 15,24% for textiles.

On the other hand

, only gems and jewellery

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

dipped in the next period from above 40$

billion

to 40$

billion

Moreover

, the percentage in

values

also

plunged down considerably which depicted 5,18%.

Submitted by rafiaufa18 on Fri Feb 03 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words values, products, billion with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "depicts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

181 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

exports
categories
value
percentage change
compare
trends
changes
chart
table
overview
introduce
highlight
describe
summarize
information

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The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category or exports in 2016 compared with 2015.

Some people think museums and art galleries should show works of art and history from their own country rather than from different parts of the world. Do you agree or disagree ?

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Some people argue that girls and boys should be educated separately, while others think it is more advantageous for children to study at the same school. What is your opinion?

Topic: In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. the only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?