IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some feel governments, rather than private companies, should be in charge of medical services. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#feel #governments #companies #charge #services
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Medical convocation is a basic benefit which should be provided to all people by the government. I totally agree that government have to arrange medical services for its citizens. In recent years, there has been Covid 19 pandemic, which affects public health around the world, and made people realize that having good public health in a country can reduce illness and fatal rates because they have enough medical equipment and staff.
This
Linking Words
 matter can reflect public health management for each country. Some countries do not have good management, lack medical tools and have limited beds which result in difficulty accessing medical dawning and led to more death. A private hospital is another good choice because people can access it easier than a public hospital,
However
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the high medical fee in a private hospital, less than 10 per cent of each country can afford them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the government should respond to medical onset, which includes supplying medicine and medical staff, and building public hospitals for each city, because more than 90 of citizens are not able to pay their medical fees.
Submitted by Kotchamon.jk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental human right
  • equitable access
  • government-run healthcare
  • economies of scale
  • negotiate
  • healthcare costs
  • profit motives
  • compromised healthcare
  • health inequities
  • accountable
  • public health objectives
  • reinvest
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: