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Writing Samples
Band 4

the diagram below shows the process by which paper is manufactured and recycled. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

the diagram below shows the process by which paper is manufactured and recycled. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
#process #paper #summarise #information #features #comparison
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The picture reveals the stage of manufacturing and recycling
paper
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main source of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paper
Use synonyms
 manufactured
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 trees, next
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 turned into
pulp
Use synonyms
 (material made from crushed wood) and will enter the recycling
process
Use synonyms
. It is noticeable that trees are cut with
saw
Add an article
a saw
the saw
show examples
 in
lumber
Correct article usage
a lumber
show examples
 mill into
logs
Use synonyms
. The
logs
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 go to
pulping
Add an article
the pulping
a pulping
show examples
 centre and the
process
Use synonyms
 of turning the
logs
Use synonyms
 into
pulp
Use synonyms
begin
Change the verb form
begins
show examples
. After that,
Use synonyms
paper-making
Correct article usage
the paper-making
show examples
 plant
process
Use synonyms
,
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
Use synonyms
paper
Correct article usage
the paper
show examples
 press starts and the papers are created. All of the papers that
already
Add a missing verb
are already
show examples
 used are transported by the recycling car, and get shredded and
turn
Wrong verb form
turned
show examples
 back into a
pulp
Use synonyms
 . The
pulp
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 starts the
paper
Use synonyms
 press
process
Use synonyms
 and repeated the same stage again.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the stage that
keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
 repeating in a cycle are recycling stages,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
 the manufacturing
process
Use synonyms
 will keep producing
pulp
Use synonyms
 from trees. There are 2 ways of making
pulp
Use synonyms
,
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 is from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
logs
Use synonyms
,
Correct word choice
and another
show examples
another
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 is from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shredded
paper
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ekaagut on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words paper, pulp, process, logs with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 0 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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