IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the amount of money invested in each categories from five organizations.

The bar chart below shows the amount of money invested in each categories from five organizations.
The bar chart illustrates how five organizations invested money into four different aspects(1) of the company, including machinery(2), building, staff training, and research.
Overall
Linking Words
, organization
B
Use synonyms
 invested the most money in all aspects of its business,
while
Linking Words
organisation
Use synonyms
 D invested the least.
Organisation
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 spent the biggest proportion of their
investment
Use synonyms
 on construction, at approximately €1.7
billion
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
organisations
Use synonyms
 A,
C
Use synonyms
, D, and
E
Use synonyms
 only invested around €0.5 million each. the second biggest
investment
Use synonyms
 of
organisation
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 was in research, at approximately €1.6
billion
Use synonyms
, which was double the
investment
Use synonyms
 of
organisation
Use synonyms
 A in the same aspect.
Organisation
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 invested approximately €0.7
billion
Use synonyms
 in research,
while
Linking Words
organisations
Use synonyms
 D and
E
Use synonyms
 both invested around €0.3
billion
Use synonyms
. Staff training was the third biggest
investment
Use synonyms
 of
organisation
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
, at €1.5
billion
Use synonyms
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it was the biggest
investment
Use synonyms
 of
organisation
Use synonyms
 A at €1
billion
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
organisations
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
, D, and
E
Use synonyms
 all invested approximately €0.4
billion
Use synonyms
. Machinery was the smallest
investment
Use synonyms
 of
organisation
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
, at €1.3
billion
Use synonyms
, but the biggest
investment
Use synonyms
 of
organisation
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
, at €0.7
billion
Use synonyms
.
Organisation
Use synonyms
 A invested €0.8
billion
Use synonyms
 in machinery,
while
Linking Words
organisations
Use synonyms
 D and
E
Use synonyms
 only invested half of that amount

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words b, organisation, investment, billion, organisations, c, e with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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