Schools should concentrate on teaching students the academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Subjects such as music and sports are not useful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is sometimes argued that schools should remove non-academic
subjects
such
as music and sports from (the educational/
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
) syllabus so that
students
will focus on academic fields which are helpful for their professions.
While
it is true that intellectual
subjects
are important, I do not believe that fully concentrating on teaching academic
subjects
at school is a good idea.
Firstly
, from the
health
point of view, non-academic activities are helpful not only for
students
’ physical
health
but
also
their mental
health
.
For instance
, after studying and sitting in compulsory classes for the whole morning, it is better for
students
to do some outdoor or art activities
such
as dancing,
playing
Correct word choice
or playing
show examples
basketball to get rid of stress.
As a result
, their learning ability and concentration in the afternoon will be improved. Focusing only on the academic area is not only harmful to student’s
health
but
also
makes their capability decrease.
Secondly
, not all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
need to be excellent at academic
subjects
to achieve success in their future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
For example
, there is no point
getting
Change preposition
in getting
show examples
A grades unnecessarily in science-related
subjects
if a person wants to become a singer or a footballer. By encouraging
students
to engage in extra-curricular activities, schools can bring out their hidden talents in other fields.
This
will help not only the
students
but
also
the society since that creates
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
diversity of
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
and enhances the division of labour. In conclusion, I disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
argument that focusing only on academic
subjects
is more helpful than non-academic fields for
students
in developing their future careers.
Submitted by cristi.corceac on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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