The line graph shows three different crimes in England and Wales in 1970-2005
The line graph illustrates information about three dissimilar illegal acts in England and Wales over the it continued its upward numbers in the next fifteen years to reach a peak at 1,6
period
from 1970 to 2005 .
It can be clearly seen from the graph the amount of car theft and house burgling
crimes increased quickly. But , these illegal acts began to decrease swiftly Replace the word
burglary
at
the rest of the duration. The number of street Change preposition
for
robbery
stayed constant Fix the agreement mistake
robberies
almost
Change preposition
for almost
whole
stage , but the Correct article usage
the whole
amout
of street Correct your spelling
amount
robbery
registered a light growth.
Fix the agreement mistake
robberies
In
the beginning of the Change the preposition
At
period
the Add a comma
,period
amount
of crime rates which were car theft and house Change the quantifier
number
burgling
rocketed respectively from 400 and 200 thousand , to 800 and 600 thousand in England and Wales over a Replace the word
burglary
ten -year
Correct your spelling
ten-year
period
. After thatAdd a comma
,
million
in the number of car theft and 0,7 million
in the amount of house burgling
. Replace the word
burglar
However
these crime rates saw a significant decrease from 1.6 to 1 Add a comma
,However
million
and from 0,7 million
to 0,5 million
between 1995 and 2005 years. The number of street robbery
stayed stable over 0 25 -Fix the agreement mistake
robberies
year
Correct article usage
a year
period
, however
it showed a slight increase from 100Add a comma
,however
thousands
to 200 Change to singular
thousand
thousands
between 1995 and 2005 years.Change to singular
thousand
Submitted by uluga2002 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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