These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

It is true that many people find it very easy to do their job at
home
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since they are equipped with their own electronic devices
at
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in
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present days.
This
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tendency has its own advantages
along with
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disadvantages
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. Whilst there are drawbacks that
are
Verb problem
cannot
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unable ignored, I still believe that the advantages outweigh the
disadvantages
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. It is true that remote working has some
disadvantages
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.
Firstly
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, working at
home
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brought some difficulties for the management group to monitor the working efficiency of employees. Considering the private limitations, vast
jobs
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areas
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are unable to be fully monitored at
home
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using surveillance cameras.
Also
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,
Working
Fix capitalization
working
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away from working
place
Use the right word
workplace
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result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
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in the isolation of
team
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members.
As a result
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,
team
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members' sense of
team
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solidarity
as well as
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the
belongings
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sense
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of their company are reduced, causing a higher rate of
dismission
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dismissal
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.
However
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, doing their job at
home
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promotes the employers' income in multiple ways that cannot be ignored. On the one hand, the essential payments on working spaces and related equipment are cut off because people have their own computers and telephones , so a large amount of money is saved by
this
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.
In addition
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to that, the
home
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-workers are reported to suffer less from work-related stress and diseases,
due to
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the relatively familiar environment at
home
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. Since they are not exposed to a stressful atmosphere, they experience less stress and can live healthier,
thus
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giving a boost to their working efficiency and producing more money. In conclusion, remote working produces more value to employers in many aspects, despite some
disadvantages
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like monitoring problems and loss of
team
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solidarity, the benefits still outweigh them significantly.

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task achievement
Try to make your introduction clearer and more direct. State your opinion more clearly from the beginning.
task achievement
Make sure you have clear examples to support each point you make. This will help your ideas become clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of your paragraphs by using more linking words and phrases to connect ideas. For example, use 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical mistakes and the correct use of commas, especially in longer sentences, to make your writing easier to read.
task achievement
You have a good opinion on the topic and you express it clearly in your conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay shows a clear understanding of both sides of the argument related to working from home.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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