The diagrams below give information about the manufacutre of frozen fish pies. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below give information about the manufacutre of frozen fish pies.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagrams represent the production of frozen
fish
pies. The first diagram shows what a
fish
pie is made of, and the second diagram illustrates its process and production of it. First of all, a
fish
pie contains peas, sauce, potato and
fish
. It is put in a microwaveable container to be heated. Regarding the other diagram, there are two ingredients that go through the process of making
fish
pies, (potatoes and
salmon
). In terms of potatoes, the delivery of potatoes can take up to one month. When it is delivered, it is cleaned, peeled, and sliced before being boiled and chilled. After that, it is stored.
Salmon
,
on the other hand
, is delivered in no more than 12 hours. Once delivered, lemon juice and salt are added to the fresh
salmon
. After that, is it put into a steam oven. When finished, the skins and bones are removed and thrown into a disposal waste. Later, the salted
salmon
, prepared peas, prepared sauce and potato are all wrapped up to freeze.
Finally
, it is all stored or dispatched.
Submitted by m.aburamyah on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, salmon with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrate
  • process
  • unload
  • packaging
  • initial phase
  • sorting
  • cleaning
  • cooking
  • bone removal
  • mixture
  • subsequent stage
  • filling
  • distribution
  • manual labor
  • automated processes
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