IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe the teenager should focus on the subjects that they are good at or that they find the most interest. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #school #subjects #teenager #focus #interest
In the present age, whether children should focus on their
school
subjects
 or on their favourite area has sparked much debate. Some people assert that
school
subjects
 are more important,
whereas
 many others argue that teenagers should follow their interests. Personally, I am in favour of the latter view. Convincing arguments can be made that it is better for
students
 to do something in line with their qualifications and that they enjoy it. To start with, pupils who follow their institution lessons without any desire may have unappropriated jobs;
therefore
, they don't have job satisfaction.
In other words
, job satisfaction is a crucial factor in people's
lives
, and without it, individuals may have monotonous and miserable
lives
.
Moreover
, these adolescents' talent can flourish by doing things that they are good at.
For example
,
students
 who are really fond of music may become well-known musicians by practising and devoting time to their interests.
Lastly
, society can get promotions more easily in their eligible fields.
For instance
,
students
 get higher grades in courses that they are good at;
therefore
, they go to better universities and
then
 employ in high-prestige jobs and
consequently
 earn more money. Admittedly, all
school
subjects
 are essential. Many communities reach outstanding positions in society by reading all their academic stuff and following the curriculum because
school
subjects
 are the standard education required by the government. Even so, doing something without any interest leads to frustration and depression.
In other words
, people cannot enjoy their
lives
 and work. In summary, I would concede that
school
 fields have some advantages. Despite that, concentration on favourite
subjects
 has considerable influences on teenagers'
lives
.
Overall
, I am convinced that
students
 should focus on their desired topics.
Submitted by Babak.ghassemi.9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: