IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

the growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town adn cities closing . do you agree or disagree ?

#growth #shops #town #adn #cities
Nowadays, digital
sales
Change the noun form
sale
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a global trend growing day by day. Many people think that online shopping
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
 will end up in the shutdown of stores in the community and cities. I personally do not agree with
this
 idea because some men and women might prefer buying in a physical store, meanwhile, other individuals enjoy having the opportunity to buy through a website. It is a fact that some folks
loves
Change the verb form
love
show examples
 the routine of walking to the local shop and
talk
Wrong verb form
talking
show examples
 with the staff and customers.
Therefore
, these actions
involves
Change the verb form
involve
show examples
 a social component that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them feel in their comfort zone.
For instance
, my sister loves to do her groceries in the store two blocks away from her place because she likes to gossip with the neighbours about what happened in the fashion world.
On the other hand
, some people are interested to buy directly from a laptop or mobile phone because it helps them to save time and not
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 disturbed by anyone in the process. To illustrate, I found online commerce is an
excelent
Correct your spelling
excellent
 tool to buy at
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
 or anywhere, even from stores that are in other parts of the country. In conclusion, shopping
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a matter of personal preference. People could be interested to do shopping in their local suburb and, at the same time, other individuals will want to save time and
to
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 their shopping at their own pace. In my opinion, I think both ideas have the capacity to coexist and nurture different market segments.
Submitted by franciscocervellera on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: