IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarises the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarises the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #value #country #exports #categories #percentage #change #category #summarises #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The three bar charts show the average
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
consumption
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fats and added
sugar
Use synonyms
 in
breakfast
Use synonyms
, lunch,
dinner
Use synonyms
 and
snacks
Use synonyms
 in the United States.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the
USA
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 consume the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
dinner
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of added
sugar
Use synonyms
 can be consumed in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
snacks
Use synonyms
.
USA
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 consumed
sodium
Use synonyms
 in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
breakfast
Use synonyms
 and
snacks
Use synonyms
 are at the same
proportion
Use synonyms
.
Dinner
Use synonyms
 is provided
almost
Change preposition
with almost
show examples
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
two-fifth of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and nearly 40% of saturated fat, which are more than 14% and 11% of the second largest category, lunch.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
USA
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 consumed much less
sodium
Use synonyms
 in
snacks
Use synonyms
 and breakfasts, which are only 14%.
Also
Linking Words
,
The
Change preposition
in The
show examples
USA
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 consumed much less saturated fat in
breakfast
Use synonyms
, which
around
Add a missing verb
is around
show examples
 a quarter of total
consumption
Use synonyms
. Another point is that
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
USA
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 consumed the highest amount of added
sugar
Use synonyms
 in
snacks
Use synonyms
, at 43%, which
nearly
Add a missing verb
is nearly
show examples
 double
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the second
consumption
Use synonyms
 category,
dinner
Use synonyms
 (23%). Americans
consumes
Change the verb form
consume
show examples
 the least added
sugar
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
breakfast
Use synonyms
, which is 3% less than the
consumption
Use synonyms
 in lunch.
Submitted by sharon021082 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, consumption, sodium, sugar, breakfast, dinner, snacks, usa, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: