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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts Below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the word. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons were relevant.

The charts Below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the word. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons were relevant.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #word #information #features #comparisons
The Pie Charts compare the proportion of using
water
 in three sectors which are
industrial
Correct article usage
the industrial
show examples
secto
Correct your spelling
sector
, agriculture and household work in six different
parts
 of the world.
Overall
, the illustration shows that
water
 is highly used in
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
 field in Latin
America
, Africa, South East
Asia
 and Central
Asia
.
However
, in
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two areas which are North
America
 and
Europe
,
industrial
Add an article
the industrial
show examples
 sector is dominating in terms of
water
uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
show examples
.
Beforehead
Correct your spelling
Before head
Beforehand
,
agriculture
Add an article
the agriculture
show examples
 sector in South
America
, Africa and different
parts
 of
Asia
 occupy the largest portion of total used
water
.
Although
 the amount for South
America
 is 71%, it is 81%, 84% and 88% for Southeast
Asia
, Africa and Central
Asia
 respectively.
On the other hand
, the number is significantly low in North
America
 where only 39% and
also
 in
Europe
 where only 32% are used in
this
 sector.
In contrast
, in
Europe
, 53% of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 used is in the field of industry,
whereas
 in North
America
 the number is 49%. For domestic purposes, each
areas
Change to a singular noun
area
show examples
 spend a little amount of
water
, though the number is comparatively high in South Athoygh which is 15% and it is comparatively low in
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different
parts
 of
Asia
 which is 7% only.
Finally
, it can be stated that
water
 is mostly used in different
parts
 of the globe
except
Add the preposition
forexcept
show examples
Europe
 and USA.
Also
, domestic sectors are least
priotiaed
Correct your spelling
prioritised
prioritized
 in all given areas.
Submitted by rishi.seehra on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, parts, america, asia, europe with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼

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