IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when traveling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages? (give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience)

#information #technology #people #work #workplace #e #g #home #mobility
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The question of whether the benefits given by new IT
progresses
Change the verb form
progress
show examples
 on
work
Use synonyms
 flexibility outweigh its downsides has been sparking
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
debates for quite some
time
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 many people sustain that it is, in fact, extremely convenient in order to keep up with their own
work
Use synonyms
,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 argue that it can lead to a certain misconception of
work
Use synonyms
 reality by losing sight of what is considered to be a
work
Use synonyms
 environment. For starters,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 having the possibility to
work
Use synonyms
 outside the studio allows individuals with special needs or requests to be extremely more comfortable in doing it without having to ask for day permits that would leave them with undone
work
Use synonyms
 to complete once they come back.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, individuals would be able to manage their
work
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 with their free
time
Use synonyms
 more appropriately resulting in keeping up with their social and family life. If
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, modern communicational systems would offer them the possibility to stay in contact with their coworkers
as well as
Linking Words
 to modify or complete their tasks without having to jump back to the office from afar if support is needed.
Although
Linking Words
 these new technologies offer various advantages, they can
also
Linking Words
 present some downsides if not managed properly by companies and workers themselves. One crucial drawback of individuals working online is that they cannot be physically present at all, if their online
time
Use synonyms
 become permanent that would mean that social interaction inside the building would be inhibited.
While
Linking Words
 working relations can be considered not essential to complete daily tasks, it could be argued that in-presence collaborations and cooperation
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 fundamental in order to create an enjoyable environment and in order to create trust. After taking into consideration all of the points made above, it appears clear that
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 of new information technologies in managing
work
Use synonyms
 outside
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 can outweigh its cons by resulting
extremely
Change preposition
in extremely
show examples
 beneficial if a balance between in-workplace and out-workplace is found.
Submitted by bb on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: