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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries around the world, young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answers and include relevant examples.

#countries #world #people #parents’ #home #school #friends #development #answers
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Nowadays, adolescents start to live by themselves right after they graduate from school. They
move
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 out and either live on
a
Remove the article
apply
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private property or
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
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 a place with their friends.
This
Linking Words
 is a negative trend because most high school graduates will not get a proper job which may
also
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 cause them to have inadequate money to pay for housing fees. In recent times, many youngsters
move
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 out from their
parents
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' place right after they finish school.
This
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 has become a mainstream thing all around the world, especially in western countries. Moving out from
Use synonyms
parents'
Correct pronoun usage
their parents'
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 house actually can teach younger generations how to be responsible yet
also
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independent
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an independent
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 person.
However
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, it would be very challenging for them to take care
their
Change preposition
of their
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 own household
while
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 they are just introduced to adulthood. If they stay in their
Use synonyms
parents'
Correct your spelling
parent's
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 house, they do not need to worry about the household, as their
parents
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 will be responsible for it. For most
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
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 graduates, finding a
high paying
Add a hyphen
high-paying
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 job that can cover all their expenses will be quite tough as most of them will only receive minimum wage.
Thus
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, many teenagers undergo financial struggles and housing rental fees would just be an unnecessary additional expense. If they are able to stay in their
Use synonyms
parents'
Correct your spelling
parent's
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 place for free, why bother moving out? I live in an Asian household and in our culture, it is very uncommon to
move
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 out at a young age. Most Asian
parents
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 would ask their children to stay as long as they want to help them save money.
To conclude
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,
although
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 teenagers can learn how to be independent and responsible by living on their own, moving out may
also
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 cause financial difficulties.
Thus
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, everyone should start to reconsider their decision to
move
Use synonyms
 out before it is too late.
Submitted by emailgadungan28 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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