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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, not enough students study science subjects. What are the causes? What will be the effect on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #students #study #science #subjects #effect #society
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Students who study
Add an article
the subject
a subject
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 in
science
Use synonyms
 are only a few in some countries. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 will affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society because
science
Use synonyms
 education is a basic foundation and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 factor that can help many aspects to progress for a nation to develop
further
Linking Words
.
Science
Use synonyms
 is a basic knowledge that every
country
Use synonyms
 needs to put a big concern about it. Unlike the other subjects,
science
Use synonyms
 is the only
topics
Fix the agreement mistake
topic
show examples
 that walk around almost every
aspects
Change to a singular noun
aspect
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our life.
For instance
Linking Words
, engineering;
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 that plays a major role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 providing better manufacturing, building, construction, and design. If some countries did not have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
good quality
Add a hyphen
good-quality
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 students or people that
mastering
Wrong verb form
mastered
show examples
Linking Words
this topics
Change the determiner
this topic
these topics
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, I assured
there
Correct pronoun usage
you there
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 would be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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chaos in their societies.
For example
Linking Words
, Timor Leste, with
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 GDP
only
Change preposition
of only
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 400ish
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
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 per capita, make them
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one of the poorest
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 in the world. There is no domestic product,
neither
Correct word choice
nor
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 manufacturing places that could attract other parties around the world to invest in
this
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
,
hence
Linking Words
 the
economic
Replace the word
economy
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 is only
stagnan
Correct your spelling
stagnant
stagnation
. There are many reasons behind those things
such
Linking Words
 as internal conflicts,
unequality
Correct your spelling
inequality
 of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
, and corruption but the major cause that turns them into it, was the lack of education
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 in
science
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, if the people of Timor Leste put
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 as the top
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
priority, they might have some chances to build their own manufacturing plant
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or develop their products to create a better economy.
This
Linking Words
 is how some of
Add an article
the advance
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advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 in the world can go
further
Linking Words
 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others. America is one example
why
Change preposition
of why
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 could bring them
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the top of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 globally. Their breakthrough
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 has leveraged the
country
Use synonyms
 not only in economics but
also
Linking Words
various
Change preposition
in various
show examples
 aspects of life for
whole
Add an article
the whole
show examples
 nation. In my opinion,
science
Use synonyms
 subjects
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 very important for a
country
Use synonyms
 to develop.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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