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Band 7.5

The charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
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The provided pie charts illustrate the proportions of
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
 in general meals (
breakfast
Use synonyms
,
lunch
Use synonyms
, dinner and
snacks
Use synonyms
)consumed by the
people
Use synonyms
 in the USA.
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 consume more
sodium
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 and saturated fat including food for their supper,
while
Linking Words
 they take
sugar
Use synonyms
 contained items as their
snacks
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.
Besides
Linking Words
,they consume these three nutrients in almost similar percentages for
breakfast
Use synonyms
. Noticeably,
sodium
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 intake for
breakfast
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 and
snacks
Use synonyms
 is the same which is 14% , and for ,dinner it is almost double,
while
Linking Words
 dinner includes 43% of
sodium
Use synonyms
 in the meal.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, saturated fat consumption in the morning is 16%, which is the same percentage of added
sugar
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
 in the USA consume for
breakfast
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, folks intake 21% and 26% of fat for
lunch
Use synonyms
 and
snacks
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 respectively,
while
Linking Words
 37% of fat is consumed for supper which could lead
people
Use synonyms
 to have heart diseases. Undoubtedly, the highest additional
sugar
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 incorporates with
snacks
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, which is accounted for 42%.
However
Linking Words
, folks use only 23% of
sugar
Use synonyms
 in their supper meals.
Finally
Linking Words
, their
lunch
Use synonyms
 consists of 19% of additional
sugar
Use synonyms
, which is the lowest percentage compared to the other two nutrients in the
lunch
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, sugar, breakfast, lunch, snacks, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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