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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
There is no doubt that it is widely recognized that lots of produced
food
 and beverage have high amounts of
sugar
 which is the main reason for many health issues.In
this
 essay,I will shed the light on both views and draw my personal conclusion. In terms of
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 side of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
,many individuals believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugary
food
 must be cheap.the main reason
given
Add the auxiliary verb
was given
show examples
 to support
this
 claim,
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
because
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 some of them
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not care about the problem that they might face
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
while
 they
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
 meals which contain large quantities of
sugar
.
Furthermore
,those sorts of
people
 will encourage the government if they would apply
a rules
Correct the article-noun agreement
rules
a rule
show examples
 to raise the prices of sugary products or meals.
For instance
,some researchers from reading
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 show that the majority of
people
 around the globe prefer sugary meals rather
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 eating healthy
food
.
Moreover
,
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 side of individuals may think that the international factories
as well as
 the firms which are responsible for manufacturing
sugar
 should be closed for many reasons.
Firstly
,perhaps they believe that these companies harm the communities when they produce
this
 type of
food
.
Secondly
,they may think that they are the main reason for spending
Change preposition
on
show examples
diseases around the world.
For example
,obesity and many mental problems like depression.
Thus
,those
people
 support their nations to play a pivotal role in raising the prices of these products in order to encourage the individuals who are contributing large quantities of
sugar
 daily. In conclusion,even though that numerous figures of
people
people
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
are not aware of the plenty of health problems that they would face in the future
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree,that the prices of these goods must be increased.
Submitted by 19-0415 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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